Puebla is so much cooler than Mexico City. It's a smaller, less densely populated town with a beautiful center park and surrounding colonial buildings. Puebla is known for its churches and the intricate tiling on the walls of many of the older constructions. And the best part... we don't have to ride in a bus for two hours each way to get to our destination! 

My host family here is awesome. My roommate, Sofia, and I are living in the house of our host's mother, though we're going to stay with the actual family on Saturday night. Our abuela is adorable and kind. She cooks amazing food and wasn't at all offended when we asked if we could have oatmeal and fruit for breakfast instead of the HUGE meal she cooked for us for the past few days of chicken, beans, salad, rice and bread. The first night we were here, she showed us all the pictures of her family, she has eight children and twenty grandchildren, and told us about Mexico. 

I'm feeling my Spanish improving all the time, which is lovely. I have a goal to be fluent by the end of the tour but, I realize that "fluent" means different things to different people. I know I want to be able to listen to people talking incredibly quickly and catch what their saying. I actually did it last night, it was such a cool feeling! 

On Tuesday and Wednesday we did our community impact (CI) at a place called Caritas, which is a Catholic Church run shelter for older people who can't afford to go to a private nursing home. Many of them are also mentally or physically disabled. It was very challenging for me to sit and talk to people who have so little in their lives. The woman I talked to the longest sat hunched in her wheelchair with a large plastic bag of belongings next to her. She told me how she had no family or friends, even at the center. Being there changed my perspective a bit on the mentally challenged because many of them seemed blissfully unaware that anything was "wrong" in their lives. We played catch with a few older guys who acted like children, laughing and smiling wide, gap-toothed grins. I was also surprised by one man who grabbed my hand when I said hello and pulled me to him, I didn't know what he was doing until Mitch, one of our staff members saw me and said, "He likes to arm wrestle, just go with it." So I did. That man DID like to arm wrestle. He beat me every time. I keep relearning old lessons, and that day I definitely relearned not to judge people by their appearances. 

For me, the main event of the week was hearing from Mom about financial aid for college. I got an email on Tuesday saying something about $3,500 that I MIGHT be getting, and I freaked out. I thought I was going to receive a lot more than that. I tried my hardest to suck it up and start figuring out ways to manifest the nearly $50,000 it was going to take for me to go, but in the back of my head was doubt and fear. I kept trying to ignore it and beat it down until the end of yesterday when I absolutely broke down and cried and snotted on five different friends. I knew I could do it, but I had to let out the fear and doubt first before I could focus my entire mind on how to actually raise the money. So, this week I also relearned that I should honor my emotions by letting them be and not try to change what I'm feeling. When I got home last night, I checked my email and saw that Mom had sent me one saying I'd actually received $29,000 in scholarship from Bard, $23,000 is grant money!!! I was so, so excited. Part of my breakdown was also over feeling stupid because I thought Bard didn't want to give me money, which MUST mean that I'm hardly smart enough to go there, but no. Mom said the most they give to anyone, unless their a science major or a homeless kid from Ethiopia (and I quote) is $24,000. So I got almost the maximum amount! What's left to raise is $22,450 which is only $8,000 more than I raised for Up with People, so I know KNOW I can do it. If any of you come across scholarship or grant opportunities that you think may apply to me, please let me know! I've already begun thinking of fundraisers for when I return in the summer, and I want to do something NOW while I'm on the road. I haven't come up with anything right now, so please let me know if you think of something. Ok, gotta go change the world, bye folks!

Love,

Marina

I believe the biggest lesson I´m learning on this trip is this: the thing you least want to do, the person you least want to talk to, the hardest day to open your eyes, the times you feel alone, when you feel that feeling of, "I don´t wanna!" just do it. Nike really has it right. I thought I´d learned this lesson before, but I suppose certain life lessons can be learned and relearned.

Yesterday, when I climbed on the bus after a long day of walking around Mexico City, seeing the Modern Art Museum and a really awesome castle, all I wanted to do was curl up in a window seat, turn on my music and sleep for the hour long bus ride. But when I got on the bus, I saw Mitch, one of our Education directors who traveled as a student last year, with an empty seat next to him. I hadn´t talked to him that much and he always seemed like a really cool person, so I asked if I could sit next to him. We ended up talking the entire way back about religion, our families, how our parents met, his backpacking trip through Spain, my struggling with wanting alone time here in Up with People, and tons of other random stuff. That conversation was one of the few I´ve had here that I felt truly present for. I felt like I shared myself more than I have been with others, and that inspired me to begin sharing more freely and openly with everyone around me.

This experience, for me, is one opportunity after another to learn how to get past that stage of "I don´t want to," and be present in the moment so I can share my thoughts, ideas and energy with everyone around me. With every person I talk to when I don't want to, every community service project I do when I don't want to, every show I perform in when I just feel like crying, I can feel myself grow a little stronger, more independent and more trusting of my own abilities.

On Tuesday, we went to DIF which is a governmental organization that provides physical and psycological therapy for children with birth defects. DIF had games planned that they called the Olympics. I was feeling extremely tired and really dizzy. I decided not to participate in the shortened verson of the show we did because I felt like I could hardly stand up, much less dance without falling over, but now I wonder if I had just decided I was OK, if I would*ve felt better. At any rate, I lay down for a while and after resting felt a bit better. Lunch was prepared by all the therapists who work for DIF and we all ate with the families and their children who had come for the day of games. I sat with a mother and her two sons, one only a year old and the other six, and talked with her as I ate.

Ok, enough philisophicalness for today...

Ok, I'm finally publishing this post one week after I wrote it. Now I'm in Puebla, which I like much more than Mexico City because it's quieter, smaller, and has less people. Plus, it has a really beautiful downtown area and this coffee chain called the Italian Coffee Company, which is way cheaper and yummier than any Starbucks! Ok, I have to go shower, but I'll write again soon!

Marina